By John Wright

Big City Times

SAN FRANCISCO - Twelve people plunged to their deaths in the San Francisco Bay Wednesday afternoon when United Airlines Flight 3327 was attacked by a man-shaped creature that shredded an engine and then clawed its way inside.

The wounded plane, a 747 carrying 407 people and bound for Big City, returned immediately to San Francisco Airport under the guidance of the San Francisco super-heroine Shamrock.

The incident occurred around 3 p.m., moments after Flight 3327 departed the airport. A man-shaped creature appeared on the left wing of the plane, sinking its claws into one of the plane's four engines and then scampering across the wing to rip through the plane's door, according to passengers.

"It was like something out of that "Twilight Zone" movie," said passenger Mallory Fox. "I couldn't believe my eyes."

The creature's destruction of the door decompressed the plane, ejecting a half-dozen passengers and causing the craft to nose toward the ocean less than a thousand feet below. Once inside the aircraft, the man-thing seemed to ignore the powerful wind whipping through the cabin, passengers said.

Several more people were ejected from the plane, although reports conflict whether this was due to decompressive force or the creature throwing people outside. After watching the mayhem around it for several seconds, the creature dove from the crippled plane into the bay.

As the plane's pilot, Capt. William Richards, struggled to gain altitude, a petite woman burst into the cockpit and assumed the co-pilot's controls. The woman, later identified as Shamrock of the Guardians super-hero team, safely landed the 747 back at San Francisco Airport.

"I was pretty startled to see her in the cockpit, but I'd have to say she did an excellent job," admitted Capt. Richards. "If I ever see her again, I'd like to shake her hand. She's welcome aboard any plane I fly, any time."

BRENTWOOD, CA - Entertainer and Superheroine Stephanie Hammond has announced today that her relationship with fellow Superhero Ray Simpson, aka Phoenix, has come to an end.

There has much speculation on this subject in the tabloid press recently, but this is the first official confirmation from the parties involved. In a press conference at her Brentwood estate, Hammond stated that she and Simpson had gone their separate ways.

The performer, known in her costumed identity as Icestar, did not mention the allegations made recently on the Lorelei's Love Seat show concerning Simpson and Paticia McMasters (aka Top Cat), nor did she mention the ongoing rumors concerning Simpson and fellow Guardian Fiona O'Chance (aka Shamrock). Hammond cited the demands of both the entertainment world and the world of superdom, as well as the strains of maintaining a long-distance relationship. "Although I am choosing to go my own way from Ray, he is a fine-hearted person, and I hope he one day finds a relationship he can thrive in," Hammond offered in closing her prepared remarks.

A brief question-and-answer period followed the statement, but Hammond did not acknowledge questions seeking more detail on the split with Simpson, instead answering questions about her current projects in film and recording. Her manager, Wilson Stiles, was also on hand, though he did not speak at the conference. The looks of strong disapproval from the former undisputed world heavyweight boxing champion may have discouraged some from pursuing inquiries about Simpson too far. When asked about the rumors concerning her interest in forming a Hollywood-based superteam, Hammond answered simply, "We'll have to see what develops there."